Try Athlon

I don't know who Athlon is, but if he's cute, I might want to try him on.

It's good to try new things, challenge yourself, struggle with a new goal. As far as I'm concerned, a Try Athlon has three segments: packing up my big girl work outfit for transport to the gym in the morning without forgetting anything, getting it on without putting a run in the hose and exiting the gym without the tags hanging out, and getting to work in record time after my workout looking halfway like the professional I pretend to be now that I'm no longer pretending to be a superhero working on big Try Ceps. But I don't know why I bother, because, when I get to the finish line (my office), no one at work notices when I come in and they really don't give a shit what I'm wearing, as long as I'm clean. Maybe they won't notice the coffee stain on the front of my white sweater, either.

This is what I think: the outfit should be practical, whether we are working or working out. It should fit well. It should show off our assets, and our asses only when they are very nice. It should NOT look affected, as if we spent alot of time thinking about what to wear, but it should look like we are at least trying, and it shouldn't smell. Work is important because we have bills to pay, like our Y membership, and there are always new clothes to buy. The workout itself is also important. It should fit your age and body type and interests well, and it should help you improve your assets, so you should always try a little bit harder if nothing hurts. However, I suggest you keep it personal, focused, and self contained. You always notice the dinks that are more interested in knowing if other people are noticing them or not, and that's when we notice their stupid outfit or that they are really overheated and close to stroke, and they smell. Best to lay low, if you know what I mean.

Our daily Try Athlon should NOT be confused with a Triathlon, which, according to Thunderthighs, consists primarily of gaining alot of weight, wearing really tight Spandex shorts and sports bras without a top, and cornering you in the locker room to tell you all about her "Try Training" for Pine Bush. Constantly - trying - again - to start - a conversation - all about her Try Training. I'm guessing she thinks it should be easier to impress a stupid middle aged lady than her peers, but I'm a gym rat and this is a LITTLE EVENT (325 Yard Lake Swim - 11.5 Mile Bike - 3.25 Mile Run), so I'm really NOT impressed. And having already had like 11.5 conversations with her about it already, I'm done with it. She is TRYING too hard.

I know we can all try a little harder, including me in the Try Not To Be Such a Bitch department. Even when I am nice, underneath there's this little devil just havin' the funniest conversation about what's going on around me.