Emergency Preparedness

You never know when life will throw you for a loop, or a friend will throw you a lifeline. Shit happens, so let's all do our best to BE PREPARED.

T.L.B. is having weird dreams. Good to know I'm not the only one. Her house alarm went off in the middle of the night a few days ago and she confessed: GRAB GYM BAG AND HARD BOILED EGG AND ESCAPE. She is well prepared for emergencies, because she knew enough to know that her gym bag had almost everything she needed to survive, except the snack. Selfish me forgot to offer her shelter in the event that something really bad had happened.

The Goddess had a tampon emergency but she was well prepared, almost, because she at least had a quarter for the vending machine, which jammed (what a surprise), leaving her to reach out to all us early morning 50+ women hoping one of us might actually still have a tampon, despite our age. I was also well prepared , having said item handy and willing to give, a pleasure, really, since she wanted to swim and the stupid vending machine was only giving her sanitary napkins, which, as you may know, are NOT useful inside a swim suit unless you are only sunbathing. I hope her day only got better. Too bad I didn't have a tweezer handy to retrieve the quarter.

Speaking of weird dreams, pool dreams are a recurring theme for me. The other night I had a dream with Sharin' in it. She was sitting upright in a large paper bag in a bright red swim suit wearing shiny red high healed shoes, singing out that her old man had left her but she got to keep the shoes, and everyone in the pool stopped and cheered and clapped their hands. Very weird, but the point is, if he's going to leave you be sure you keep possession of the things that matter most, and let your friends know if you need some love. What you get to keep might be just your sanity, but a cool pair of red heels could come in very handy in an emergency. FYI, Sharin', you were BEAUTIFUL.

OK just to keep on target, here is a short list of things you should always have with you when leave for the Y:

Keys

Lock

Chapstick/lipgloss

Money

Water bottle. With water in it so you don't have to fill the bottle from water fountains with pink moldy germy slime on them, which Puppy Sweet Cheeks has also noted recently in response to my earlier blog about pink things. Pink is cute but not on the waterfountain, and no, pink lipgloss on the rim of my bottle will not protect me.

I carry an oversize gym bag with about everything I need in it to survive a nuclear attack, except, of course, just a stupid bandaid, which I had to beg off the fitness center earlier this week to protect a nice 3rd degree burn on the back of my left hand that I got fishing toast out of the toaster oven. The members are great, so are the staff. The G. Y is, as always, a great place to be.