Take a Number

The pool was really crowded last Monday, 4/2/2012. Instead of swimming circles those of us already in the water did a really excellent job of ignoring those left waiting, intently swimming up and down without a glance upward. Yeah, boys, take a number, 'cause YOU slept in, heh heh heh.

We stacked up Bachelor No. 1, Bachelor No. 2, and Bachelor No. 3. It was hard to pick a favorite because they all looked alike, sitting on the bench, slumped over, trying to look cool instead of irritated that no one would let them in. They were all wearing identical black jammers - isn't that expressive? But NO one would get in with D.G., whose pool name, FYI, is D.G. He is Mayor of Lane 8. He insists on swimming with paddles even when there is someone in the lane with him. I'm sure he is thinking that maybe they'll leave. I say he's just plain weird. He gets visibly irritated if he has to share, which happened just a couple of weeks ago when a lady joined him on the wall. When T.B.B. asked how he was, he said "Not so good", and when asked why, he explained that it was his "butterfly day". He was like so freaked out to have someone mess with his routine and invade "his" space, and he butterflied anyway, which also makes him an asshole.

So now we're taking bets on Batman versus Stefanaki. S got all the way to the pool this morning, feet in the water, then up and left. I find out later that he is in a feud with Batman and it seems the Bat is winning because S left the facility altogether and swore he wasn't coming back. I always figured, like me, he'd be thrown out before he quit. However, I'm happy to have the free lane because I am selfish and petty, but even money says he'll be back. He's a pool gym junkie, and besides, I'm pretty sure he's already worn out his welcome at most of the other facilities in the city.

I'm doing my best to bring down my blood pressure: I don't like the high numbers, they scare me. Gumdrop is helping by teaching me a little meditation, and it might work if I could just ignore the fact that I'm menapausal. SO - take three deep breaths, countdown from 10, close your eyes, relax, dream of a real butterfly day with big flowers and bugs and blue skies and puff puff clouds, be at one with the chlorine, accept who you are and love others for who they are are, even if they are assholes.

Yes, I bitch, therefore I am. But I'm taking a number and I hope it isn't up anytime soon.