Leave No Trace

After a run on the treadmill, all sweaty and red faced, I sit on a bench for a moment, ready to do some free weights, and put on my lifting gloves. When I stand up I notice I've left a butt-print from my wet compression shorts. Think of it as a sort of heart-shaped heinie smile.

I wipe it down with my sweaty towel, then try to disguise my trace with a water bottle and my little yellow mesh bag (containing one stretching band, lip gloss, comb, extra hair tie, and some gum just in case last night's garlic is still kickin') in the hopes that no one will push into my space. This is very territorial of me, for sure.

As fodder for the gossip circuit, I coat myself in viteeyum E oil before I workout so my skin shines and looks healthier than it really is. It also smells nicer than B.O., FYI. After I do my weight lifting circuit I always leave time for some mat work to stretch, do some abs, and basically crap out because by then I'm wiped. And for sure I have to wipe the mat down, too, because I've left my oily mark and it would just be nasty to let the next dude slide around in my goo. The paper towel always comes up filthy, which is NOT me. Ask me why I don't clean it before I start.

Which leads me to today's heading, "Leave No Trace." Counter to popular opinion that I'm some sort of total gym bitch, I was a GOOD Girl Scout from the age of 5 to 18; this mantra was very much a part of our G.S. party outings. So let me offer up a few hot tips:

Don't just wipe down the spinning bike. Please wipe up the floor where you left a puddle of sweat for the next person to wipe out on.

Please put your toys/equipment away when you are done. I HATE walkin' around looking for the orange medicine ball or a blue flex band or the 15 pound weights.

Please put your garbage in the waste receptacles provided. The bottom of a locker is NOT a receptacle.

If you are female and you pee after leaving the pool please dry off the seat when you are done.

If you weigh yourself after you pee after leaving the pool please also dry off the scale when you are done.

If you comb out your hair in the shower please do not decorate the walls of the shower stall with it. This is just disgusting.


The Y starts out clean and I know that staff there work hard to keep it that way, so I would appreciate everyone's cooperation. I like my toilet water blue and I don't like my water fountains pink. So what is the pink in the ladies' showers these days??? I wonder if there is an equivalent contaminant on the men's. I hope it isn't pink.

Speaking of heinies, today Lover Boy got two. Lucky man.

xxx