Freak Show

Okay my first New Year's Resolution is this: I will be more accepting of others and embrace their differences as part of the gift of life.

NOT.

Today was Freak Show Day. The Fat Lady was in the hot tub. We get to see her for free, but in the days of yore you would have to pay at least a nickel to stare at her in a circus tent. After my swim I love to find a moment of peace in the warmth of that tub, but today I had to listen to her talk about herself and her accidents and knees and other weird shit to the other, nicer members willing to indulge her. The Black Swan is training to be a nurse. She smiled, and listened. Unlike me she needs no resolution to be a better person. I think nurses are angels. I would totally dope slap any patient that was that ridiculous. I wanted to whack her with my swim fins, the only weapon I had handy at the time.

My second New Year's Resolution is this: I will accept praise and criticism with equal attention and welcome the kind words and the comfort of strangers.

NOT.

So escaping the drama of the hot tub I enter the lair of the sauna. No shit The Illustrated Man and Rambo were in there discussing boys being shot in downtown Albany last night. I think Rambo is a cop. Lovely, redneck harp about the good old days and all the crazies out there. Their attention soon turned towards me and my bod. Now ain't that relaxing??? Hey, I wanted to say, why "do" Lark Street when you can just go to the Y if you want to talk to crazy folks??? But I didn't. I SMILED and said "Have A Nice Day" as I escaped to the locker room, thinking I might finally be safe.

NOT.

My third New Year's Resolution is this: I will not complain about every little thing and I will instead be positive and warm and friendly at all times.

NOT.

Bitch session about broken treadmills, the FitLinxx being pulled, bracing ourselves for an onslaught of new members in the New Year (the Y is always too busy in January with interlopers), and a jammed paper towel dispenser. Two thumbs down (very handy). If we want to keep the number of "active" members to a minimum I recommend collective bitchin' and cursin' and not sharin' - all very discouraging to the folks that joined today for free and the 50% plus of Americans that really NEED to start exercising and hate the gym before they even join. But I did very kindly show a woman who could have been a man how to get to the pool. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I WANT to be nice, really I do!!!

My fourth New Year's Resolution is this: To show the ones I love that I really love them. Every day. This one I will promise to keep.

Happy New Year to all of you.

xxx