Reflections

Hey, new treadmills - FINALLY. The TV monitors are set low instead of right in front of your face. Now I can see a reflection of the whole fitness center behind me laid before me. My feng shui energy has gone through the roof.

As you probably know, the window before sunrise acts like a great big mirror. In it I can see the reflection of the brand name of the treadmill, backwards. It reads "carT ratS". I think that's pretty funny.

I can also see myself. I start out white and cheerful and end up a red, drippy, ragged mess. A litte smoke and mirrors would be a good thing. So let's watch what's going on behind me instead, shall we???

Mostly I recognize everyone and mostly everyone is trying to ignore everyone else but are still watching what's going on without being obvious about it. This is considered "cool". If a friend walks by behind me we do waves in the glass. Gym Junkies know that big mirror shows all.

In daylight one can also see the parking lot and the sky and the trees and the weather. I love it. OR you can watch this little tart on your monitor put you through a fitness routine. OR you can watch movies off your iPod. I wonder what the Y will do the first time they catch some nut watching porn?

Lifting weights in front of that big mirror is also fun for making believe you are watching yourself pose when in fact you are watching the cute guy spotting the other cute guy behind you. I can also tell time backwards because I watch the clock in the mirror. I'm so clever.

There are NO mirrors in the spinning room, so you don't know what's going on behind you, which is why no one likes to take the bikes near the front of the closet. Bad feng shui there, folks.

I always thought, as I reflect here in my final bloggy moments, that those that practice feng shui and have mirrors carefully placed so they can see what's behind them are PARANOID. But now I think, besides trying to be calm and refreshed, that they are all really just spying on what's going on behind them because it's fun.

I'll end with a quote from Martin Mull: It's hard to decide if TV makes morons out of everyone, or if it mirrors Americans who really are morons to begin with. Maybe you should check out the tart, instead. Or pick a treadmill with TV monitor that isn't working. We already have two.