I'm back at the Y catching up on the gossip and trying to catch my breath again after fighting this cold for the past week or more. Sometimes I'm speechless.
Not because I'm shocked by what I hear! Oh no, this blog and the gossip aren't THAT good. It's just that my brain is still addled and my nose is still stuffed, so my response to most things is to stare at people with my mouth hanging open wishing I had a tissue. It's VERY attractive.
But the sales are good so the gals have been showing up with new clothes - always fun to show off and brag about all the money we saved spending money! I got a great new pair of Pikolino boots at Little Bug's inventory sale last week. I LOVE them, they are very cool, and they take attention away from my head so my red nose is less obvious. I also went to Penny's on Friday and they had coats on sale for $10.00. BUY TWO. I did. Blue Towel was showing off pants from Talbot's Outlet - $10.00 each. BUY TWO. She did. But the best was Puppy Sweet Cheek's new Genie Bra, which she modeled for us very professionally in the locker room this week. $10.00 at WalMart. Too bad she had to cover it with a shirt. It was soft and lovely. Yes, boys, DROOL. The ladies can stare at each other's chests without even thinking there might be tits under there.
I've set the bar pretty low this week as far as my workouts are concerned. I tried my first jog on the dreadmill on Thursday and all I could think was "WOW nothing hurts." Not "WOW what a great run." Maybe my bod needed a break. But I'm getting stronger and I actually had a nice converation with Tinkerbell this morning, including words and everything. We are both looking forward to biking outside again. And it won't be long. My tulips are starting to come up in the garden. Spring is coming and everything will feel new again, and I look forward to actually being able to smell the roses.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Bugs
I've been sick since early last week fighting a stupid cold/sinus infection. I can't remember smooching Wonder Woman, but I'm pretty sure I have the same bug she had.
There are guidelines about not sharing bugs at the Y, which is where I no doubt picked this one up, since I have no place else to go.
Here are just a few:
1. Cover your nose when you sneeze or cough. Then wash your hands or use that antibacterial goo conveniently located throughout the building. I mentioned to Captain Underpants in the hot tub a few weeks ago that he had a big booger hanging out of his nose. He thanked me, wiped it off and then rinsed his hand off in the water. I said "Yuck" - then qualified my comment with "What are friends for???" I think he likes me now.
2. Stay out of the pool if you are sick. Note this is just a guideline. Not blowing spit and snot into the pool are RULES, something I am sure to find a chance to point out to The Spitter someday soon because apparently pointing out this sort of transgression comes easily to a bitch like me.
3. Wash your hands after you use the loo. There's one older lady who always wears her swimming gloves when she pees. Does she use T.P.??? I wonder. Yuck just thinking about it.
4. Wipe down the machines before and after use. According to my sources apparently Number 1 did NOT wipe down his treadmill yesterday after working up a good sweat. Yuck again.
5. Wipe down the mats AND the stability ball after use, especially if you are sneezing and coughing or you've had the ball between your legs. One guy jumped onto my mat yesterday when I went to put equipment away between sets. If he gets my cold tough noogies. He could have used the other mat which did NOT have my territorial markers sitting on it (read: water bottle, yellow bag, stretching band, towel, etc.).
I missed a few days of work and workouts but I was back this weekend doing my best to burn off a few calories and work out the kinks without falling over. I think I'm feeling better but Wonder Woman did point out that it could be a couple of weeks before I kick this bug completely. NOTE TO SELF: Invest in Kleenex.
But I am doing my best to keep my symptoms under control so I wouldn't be shunned by others just as concerned with bugs as I can be (although maybe if I did some horking I'd get a bit more room in front of the mirrors when I'm lifting weights).
FYI: I will be taking a few more days off before I get back into swimming. You're welcome.
There are guidelines about not sharing bugs at the Y, which is where I no doubt picked this one up, since I have no place else to go.
Here are just a few:
1. Cover your nose when you sneeze or cough. Then wash your hands or use that antibacterial goo conveniently located throughout the building. I mentioned to Captain Underpants in the hot tub a few weeks ago that he had a big booger hanging out of his nose. He thanked me, wiped it off and then rinsed his hand off in the water. I said "Yuck" - then qualified my comment with "What are friends for???" I think he likes me now.
2. Stay out of the pool if you are sick. Note this is just a guideline. Not blowing spit and snot into the pool are RULES, something I am sure to find a chance to point out to The Spitter someday soon because apparently pointing out this sort of transgression comes easily to a bitch like me.
3. Wash your hands after you use the loo. There's one older lady who always wears her swimming gloves when she pees. Does she use T.P.??? I wonder. Yuck just thinking about it.
4. Wipe down the machines before and after use. According to my sources apparently Number 1 did NOT wipe down his treadmill yesterday after working up a good sweat. Yuck again.
5. Wipe down the mats AND the stability ball after use, especially if you are sneezing and coughing or you've had the ball between your legs. One guy jumped onto my mat yesterday when I went to put equipment away between sets. If he gets my cold tough noogies. He could have used the other mat which did NOT have my territorial markers sitting on it (read: water bottle, yellow bag, stretching band, towel, etc.).
I missed a few days of work and workouts but I was back this weekend doing my best to burn off a few calories and work out the kinks without falling over. I think I'm feeling better but Wonder Woman did point out that it could be a couple of weeks before I kick this bug completely. NOTE TO SELF: Invest in Kleenex.
But I am doing my best to keep my symptoms under control so I wouldn't be shunned by others just as concerned with bugs as I can be (although maybe if I did some horking I'd get a bit more room in front of the mirrors when I'm lifting weights).
FYI: I will be taking a few more days off before I get back into swimming. You're welcome.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Sexercise
Anything with the word "sex" in it is bound to up my page views this week.
So I read this crazy article about a sexpert at Indiana University describing women as having exercise induced orgasms. Spinning bikes, the Princess Chair, and chin-ups bars were cited as the most common (and soon to be the most popular) pieces of equipment for women to get off on. Next time you see me doing 50 crunches you might even guess I'm trying for a "coregasm".
NOT. In all my years of over the top workouts I have always enjoyed myself, but not that much. It's more likely that many of us 5:00 a.m. gals are staying away from what's home in bed, and wearing ourselves out so we have an excuse for later. However, if you hear me moan it may be pleasure for a change, not the usual back spasm or knee tweak or shoulder ache. If you hear ANY woman moan during her workout, from now on, I suggest that you NOT ask if everything's okay. You may get an answer you really don't want to hear.
Today the pool was really busy. I got to swim alone for awhile (pleasure there), but I had to share my lane through most of the rest of my 80 laps. At least we didn't have to do circles (although that might be a turn on, who knows). Anyway, I described myself to Sharin' as a "pool slut", because I had had multiple partners (five? six? but who's counting) during the time I was swimming. None of them were even cute like the guy that got in next to the wall with her.
We work out for any number of reasons: to look good, to feel good, to keep from turning into a blotto, to have fun, to feel better about life, and to get the workout buzz. We may also be working out because we can't sleep, we're stressed to the max, our partners are just a constant piss-off, we have no friends and no life, and we are turning into zombies so we just get up in the morning and go because we need brains.
Some come to the gym mostly to socialize and Won't Shut Up. I think in the two hours I was in the pool Stefanaki did 5 laps because he was yakking up anyone that would listen, and I didn't want to. I finally said: "I'm a Librarian. Do I need to shush your ass???" (I did, but I didn't). I changed lanes for yet another partner.
But then I got the lane to myself again as I finished up, which felt good. Nothing over the top, nope, no chlorine scented, bubbly, half naked, wild wet sensations there, just the usual happy tired now I'm starved kind of high. Uh, starved for food, that is. Don't get any funny ideas.
So I read this crazy article about a sexpert at Indiana University describing women as having exercise induced orgasms. Spinning bikes, the Princess Chair, and chin-ups bars were cited as the most common (and soon to be the most popular) pieces of equipment for women to get off on. Next time you see me doing 50 crunches you might even guess I'm trying for a "coregasm".
NOT. In all my years of over the top workouts I have always enjoyed myself, but not that much. It's more likely that many of us 5:00 a.m. gals are staying away from what's home in bed, and wearing ourselves out so we have an excuse for later. However, if you hear me moan it may be pleasure for a change, not the usual back spasm or knee tweak or shoulder ache. If you hear ANY woman moan during her workout, from now on, I suggest that you NOT ask if everything's okay. You may get an answer you really don't want to hear.
Today the pool was really busy. I got to swim alone for awhile (pleasure there), but I had to share my lane through most of the rest of my 80 laps. At least we didn't have to do circles (although that might be a turn on, who knows). Anyway, I described myself to Sharin' as a "pool slut", because I had had multiple partners (five? six? but who's counting) during the time I was swimming. None of them were even cute like the guy that got in next to the wall with her.
We work out for any number of reasons: to look good, to feel good, to keep from turning into a blotto, to have fun, to feel better about life, and to get the workout buzz. We may also be working out because we can't sleep, we're stressed to the max, our partners are just a constant piss-off, we have no friends and no life, and we are turning into zombies so we just get up in the morning and go because we need brains.
Some come to the gym mostly to socialize and Won't Shut Up. I think in the two hours I was in the pool Stefanaki did 5 laps because he was yakking up anyone that would listen, and I didn't want to. I finally said: "I'm a Librarian. Do I need to shush your ass???" (I did, but I didn't). I changed lanes for yet another partner.
But then I got the lane to myself again as I finished up, which felt good. Nothing over the top, nope, no chlorine scented, bubbly, half naked, wild wet sensations there, just the usual happy tired now I'm starved kind of high. Uh, starved for food, that is. Don't get any funny ideas.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Repeat
According to recent research from Columbia University, active, educated women are drinking more than ever. Three out of three girlgymjunkies agree.
We also agree that we would probably lose the weight we want to lose in record time if we didn't actually NEED those drinks. ROUTINE: I start at 5:00 a.m. and work out for at least two hours in a race against time (surely I'm not as old as I look), work all day M-F (doing all that I can to prove my worth and stay ahead of the curve - no stress there!), without a banana break like Evil Lifeguard seems to need every 1.25 hours or so, walk back out to my car, strip off the bra, take off the heels, race home just LOVIN' traffic and rush hour asshole drivers, stopping of course to run errands but keeping the economy running so shopping is a good thing, regrouping for the next day (clean out gym gear, e.g., hang up wet towels and bathing suit, air out ditty bag, recharge shuffle, replace emergency socks with new ones), then lay out very professional clothing for work trying not to forget the socks again, reset alarms, wipe lip gloss off the rim of water bottle and refill, get fresh gear together for whatever workout is planned for the morning, and then pour myself a goblet of white wine and STOP MOVING for almost 5 whole minutes, albeit not sitting down (yet). Then pour my second goblet, trying to forget the world outside and just relax a bit before setting up the coffee, making a highly nutritious breakfast and lunch to pack along for tomorrow, adding chocolate just in case someone pisses me off and I NEED a treat, cooking dinner, setting a table, finishing the wine, vowing not to drink this much again tomorrow because I am NOT going to lose weight this way, finally sitting down and barely eating because I'm exhausted from a long day and wine, and passing out on the couch.
Repeat until Friday then "sleep in" on Saturday because the Y doesn't open until 7:00, then push a three hour workout because I have no life. Eat a huge breakfast because I am starved. Nap. Drink. Eat dinner. Blog. Sleep, hopefully without waking up six times because of the hot flashes and excess use of alcohol.
T.B.B. is back trying to get her stupid shoulder working again and I think she is a TROOPER. Okay so she thinks she needs to lose a few pounds but GAWD if I looked like her I'd be happier than a pig in shit. I haven't lost an ounce, though like most gals, I would like to lose at least a few pounds before "bikini season". I tell the men when they complain about needing to go on a diet to remember bikini season; I think they think I'm weird.
At least I don't think I'm clinically depressed, and I think I'm keeping life's usual anxieties under some sort of control, although I still have no patience for lousy drivers. OK Cookie: pass the rum.
Monday. Repeat.
We also agree that we would probably lose the weight we want to lose in record time if we didn't actually NEED those drinks. ROUTINE: I start at 5:00 a.m. and work out for at least two hours in a race against time (surely I'm not as old as I look), work all day M-F (doing all that I can to prove my worth and stay ahead of the curve - no stress there!), without a banana break like Evil Lifeguard seems to need every 1.25 hours or so, walk back out to my car, strip off the bra, take off the heels, race home just LOVIN' traffic and rush hour asshole drivers, stopping of course to run errands but keeping the economy running so shopping is a good thing, regrouping for the next day (clean out gym gear, e.g., hang up wet towels and bathing suit, air out ditty bag, recharge shuffle, replace emergency socks with new ones), then lay out very professional clothing for work trying not to forget the socks again, reset alarms, wipe lip gloss off the rim of water bottle and refill, get fresh gear together for whatever workout is planned for the morning, and then pour myself a goblet of white wine and STOP MOVING for almost 5 whole minutes, albeit not sitting down (yet). Then pour my second goblet, trying to forget the world outside and just relax a bit before setting up the coffee, making a highly nutritious breakfast and lunch to pack along for tomorrow, adding chocolate just in case someone pisses me off and I NEED a treat, cooking dinner, setting a table, finishing the wine, vowing not to drink this much again tomorrow because I am NOT going to lose weight this way, finally sitting down and barely eating because I'm exhausted from a long day and wine, and passing out on the couch.
Repeat until Friday then "sleep in" on Saturday because the Y doesn't open until 7:00, then push a three hour workout because I have no life. Eat a huge breakfast because I am starved. Nap. Drink. Eat dinner. Blog. Sleep, hopefully without waking up six times because of the hot flashes and excess use of alcohol.
T.B.B. is back trying to get her stupid shoulder working again and I think she is a TROOPER. Okay so she thinks she needs to lose a few pounds but GAWD if I looked like her I'd be happier than a pig in shit. I haven't lost an ounce, though like most gals, I would like to lose at least a few pounds before "bikini season". I tell the men when they complain about needing to go on a diet to remember bikini season; I think they think I'm weird.
At least I don't think I'm clinically depressed, and I think I'm keeping life's usual anxieties under some sort of control, although I still have no patience for lousy drivers. OK Cookie: pass the rum.
Monday. Repeat.
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