Surprise!

Life is full of surprises. Most of them I can do without.

SURPRISE! The Women's Locker Room is closed AGAIN for what must be the 100th time this month. For "Maintenance". What the f*%# is being fixed in there between 10:00 p.m. and 8:00a.m.??? Without my daily weigh-in I've successfully gained 3 pounds. SURPRISE! And this just before the holidays. Time again for the handy Thumbs Down.

SURPRISE! My hands got tangled up in some pool debris last week that can only be described as part hairball and part dead mouse with a dash of boogers. YUK YUK YUK. Lately it seems we have had a Band-Aid issue in the pool. Some of us must be drinking heavily and suffering mild to moderate wounds as a result (also known as UPI's - Unidentified Party Injuries), trying to disguise them with Band-Aids which almost immediately float off once we descend our chlorinated world. Cookie asked for a glove to retrieve one gross uckie last week. She's my November hero.

SURPRISE! It's "Member Appreciation Day" (November 15th) and again I did NOT win the big basket with all the foodie goodies in it. What a surprise.

SURPRISE! I did something bad to my middle toe trying to exit the whirlpool on Sunday morning last week and it was badly bruised and really swollen but not broken, thankfully, but what a setback - one week without being able to run has been a total drag. Even worse, no high heels for a week, but I've worked through this issue okay, thanks for your concern with regard to What Not To Wear.

SURPRISE! I went to Empire Wine today with my husband to stock up for the Thanksgiving holiday, along with half of the city. Just a quick trip. RIGHT. Until I got sideswiped just past the entrance to Home Depot on Washington Avenue on my way home. I didn't see it coming. Adrenaline Rush. Thankfully no one was hurt, which is a good thing. The JERK who was speeding and cut in too fast and almost forced me into the left lane admitted right off that he was at fault. Please note he was not an ASSHOLE about it - he did stick around until the Polizia finally showed up. But I'm vain about my car and since it's a short work week it's not very likely I'll get it fixed right away. And I got home OK the car is at least driveable AND I have lots of wine. Thank you God.

SURPRISE! KToo turned 50 on Friday. Blue Towel and I blew up 10 black balloons and put them in her lane in the pool while she was doing laps, and she left them all there, which was wonderful and very funny and everyone on the pool was smiling. We sang "Happy Birthday" for her in the CHILDRENS LOCKER ROOM (is that ironic?) and she got a $50 gift from all of us at The Hidden Cafe and the best part was she didn't see it coming. Getting old isn't nearly as bad as the guy that showed up during the balloon event wearing a spido that barely covered his pubies.

SURPRISE! I had total garlic breath on Friday morning from eating at The Hidden Cafe on Thursday night when I went to get KToo's gift. I hope she doesn't pop any of them. They are garlic balloons, potentially very deadly.