Pat Me Down, Baby!

This week in the news it seems that the most important issue, more than Prince William's engagement (?), is TSA screening. Touch my junk.

Ooooooh that feels funny. Keep going. Nope - nothing under there. Check again. Whoooop! Yes, close but no cigar. HAH! Missed it again! Try between my cheeks again - you might get lucky! Somehow I can't wait until I hit the airports in January. Not that I'll be concealing anything, but for a middle aged, long married woman it could be a bit of a thrill to be fondled by a lady in uniform.

Especially if it's early early in the morning and I haven't really woken up yet. There are charts at the Y that outline "perceived exertion". I think what the early morning crew needs is a chart for "perceived exhaustion". (1-2): "I'm not tired! I slept for a change for a full 8 hours straight through the night and I feel great!. (3-4) I am a bit tired and I only got up once during the night to drink some water and have a pee and fold the clothes in the dryer!. (5-6) Damm alarm I was having a very cool dream and I could have slept in but I don't want to chance missing spinning class next week to so I'll get up and go to the Y but this totally sucks I need a break!. (7-8) I'm exhausted I can't get my contacts in where are my sneakers I hope I get my bike, parking spot and locker I need 3 ibuprofen damn another red light the problem with the world is everyone else!. (9-10) I can't move a muscle not today not ever I need a beer why is this TSA guy zooming me???.

Well, you get the picture. For me the idea of a pat down is a a whole lot more exciting than knowing whether the Archbishop of Canterbury, or Archie Bishop of Canterberry, will be presiding over the UK's royals' wedding. I just hope the broadcast is at a reasonable hour, EST.