S.L.B. Through the Lookin' Glass

Just like Alice, I thought. Here I was at the East Greenbush Y and everything was the same, except backwards. Or at least slightly twisted and a bit morphed.

Our pool was closed for maintenance last week, even though the dusty fish hanging from the ceiling are still there and no cleaner, I'm sure. I did the 15 highway miles to East Greenbush twice to go for a swim, and, unlike Maintenance 2009, at least a coyote didn't cross the road right in front of me on my way out, making me think: Where the f&*# am I!???

The layout is almost exactly like our gym but everything is a bit different. Very creepy. The weirdest part was that East Greenbush also had a Jack Off Joe, a Miss Middle of the Lane, and a Wonder Woman, only JoJ had a mustache, MMotheLane was fat, and WW was blonde. Same folks, only backwards. When Tweedledum and Tweedledee went at it in the locker room, complaining about who knows what, I realized I was definitely not in Kansas anymore.

The pool was green, not blue. And the water was salty, not tongue numbingly chlorinated. The lighting was subdued, not overlit (I look better in low light, FYI). The salty water was really gross. Made me think of pee. After 2 miles I half imagined I was at a beach (delerious, for sure) and looked forward to crapping out on the sand. Get this: they have a mop inside the door from the pool with instructions to clear your puddles if you didn't dry off before entering. Bite me, E.G.

I liked being anonymous. I wondered if they had a name for me. When Sharin' arrived I almost couldn't place her. The lifeguard starting hitting on her (she's gorgeous and buxom, unlike yours truly) giving her tips on how to improve her stroke. HEY: Take the highchair honey, she's more than you can handle. Safely.

So we're back in our own pool, the whirlpool is open, as is the sauna, and the gym, and we're getting back into the routine. The colors are right, all the equipment and lighting are as expected, the hot tub jets are as they should be. Sweet. I have to wonder if dreamt the whole thing. NOT. Nice to be back. I missed you guys.