Aliens at the Y

I have evidence that there are aliens, yes, real aliens from outer space, who are Y members. They only use the facility at night after the humans vacate. This is what I know:

They are very large. This is certain because in the morning the seats on the bikes in the spinning room are set as high up as they can go. That's about four and a half feet high. So these aliens, at least the ones that like to spin, must have really looooooooooong appendeges in order to reach the pedals. I assume they pedal with their "legs", but of that I'm not sure. In addition, it isn't unusual to find the squat shoulder pads sitting at about 6 feet, meaning our overnight guests could be well in excess of 7 feet tall. I've been in early and found the rack loaded with the heavy weights, so we know they are strong, too. PLUS - they always push the mats together outside the main door to the Fitness Center. These mats are sized for earthlings, after all. It's good to know that they are working on flexibility and abs, as much as they are on "cardio" and strength.

And I know they have hearts because two of the treadmills have been "out of order" for a couple of weeks now. I'm sure that these two units have been set up just for our nightime members. I tried both of them one morning, turned them on in turn (trying to find one for an earthgirl), and immediately the belt was going really fast and the heart attack monitor was going off. I think, in addition to having really long appendeges, that they "walk" really really fast. Their natural heart rate is way slower than ours are. Apparently just stepping on these two treadmills is enough to set off the alarms if you are human. Of course, I reported it, and nothing has been done, so there must be a reason. But I'm not deceived.

Lately it must be rutting season, or they've started up a boot camp, or something, because there is evidence that aliens have been cruising around in the parking lot at night. In the heat of whatever they are doing they exude some kind of tarry substance, leaving squiggly lines of this black, gooey material all over the asphalt. A "paving crew" has been in there the last few days, but I can't figure out why they would be there as early as 5:00 a.m. when it's not even light out. I think they're the FBI and that they are on to what's going on around here. I looked for Muldor but no luck. Sigh.

Most, if not all, of the aliens like the pool: they drink chlorinated water. I know this because their pee is blue. And they are all male, as evidenced from the fact that they leave the toilet seats up and they don't flush. Ask anyone who is there when the facility opens in the morning (for us humans).

So I believe there's a reason why the overnight "cleaning" staff are all big guys, and that our facility isn't open 24/7. Keep an eye open. There's a chance some of them might be there during "open" hours.....