Pool Rules

There are a surprising number of pool rules posted around the pool deck. I think it's gross that you have to tell people they can't pee, defecate or blow snot into the pool. I wonder why these rules aren't listed before the "be courteous" rule? Don't you think not shitting in the pool should be first???

No bandaids, no gum, no outside shoes, no food, no cut-offs. From what I can see of the crap floating around in the water no one really cares much about the rules, and there's only one person enforcing them: Evil Lifeguard. She power trips because she's a lifeguard. An indoor pool lifeguard. Maybe someone should explain that being an indoor (pasty fat) pool lifeguard is right up there with hall monitor in terms of status. This ain't Laguna Beach. Anyway, one minute she's telling you off and then she talks to you like she's your best friend. I have shunned her.

A sign that went up last year said that bathing suits had to be gender appropriate. I think if one of the boys wants to wear a nice colorful t-back ladies swim suit it should certainly be allowed. And if I wore a nice "spi-do" I'm not certain that anyone would notice (although they might on most of the other girls). I can't swim without goggles and a cap but I know I can swim without a suit. Well, except maybe for the scissor kick.

Do you think a drunk can read these signs any better than I can without my glasses before they go into the sauna to certain death???

So we may have lots of rules, but there are a few more that I'd like to suggest: No Leering. No touching. Stay on your side of the line.

Enough said. Suggestions welcome!

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