Pool names

A pool name is given when the name is earned. Most aren't very flattering but they can be pretty funny.

Most of our regulars have a name, whether they know it or not. There's Backstroke Bob - a very large man who does laps for hours, all backstroke. And Sharin', whom I love dearly but she hates to share. She has all kinds of strategies for getting her own lane, like getting in with other people that she knows also hate to share. The skinny little white Irish guy with the pot belly who wears large swim fins - we call him Sea Monkey because he looks like the sea monkeys they used to advertise in comic books. Oooooh, and that really cute guy that started swimming about six months ago - Adonis. I don't care if he has ideas, or a job. I just like to look at him.

Some get labeled the very first time they walk in that door. Like the couple we called Club Med (I haven't seen them in a few years). All over tans, all over each other, dumber than a turnip. Or In the Mood Mahmoud, trying to pick up girls in the hot tub by telling them how great he was. And of course Grandma Slappy, about 100 years old, skinny, bent over, and crazy. Every time her arm came around for another freestyle stroke she's slap the water "WHACK". When we saw her coming we would pray that she wouldn't get in our lane.

One of my favorite characters is Lover Boy: fit as a fiddle and over sixty now. He is a terrible flirt. I like to splash him when he gets to the end of the lane. You think the pool water is cold? Check out the water we squirt out of our water bottles. He gave me my pool name: Skinny Little Bitch (S.L.B.). I guess it's better than being a fat little bitch.

I expect there will be more about pool names as this blog develops. I'm sure you can't wait to hear more about Jack Off Joe.