Pushing Buttons

M&M and I were interrupted on the mats last week by a VERY good looking man who asked her to "activate" him. I'm sure it had something to do with that stupid FitLinks program but I was secretly tempted to offer to help out....

Pushing buttons can make stuff work for you, or they can just piss you off. Like those big blue handicap door buttons that the little kids love to push - very cute. Or the little reset buttons on the outlets and hairdryers that you often have to push in several different sequences until one magically makes it work (or not). Right now the hairdryers are both underpowered and they have buttons that offer either barely a poof of lukewarm air or are overpowered and really loud so I spend the day looking like Anna Rosanna Danna.

Is there a reason why the elevator buttons and arrival signal are so f&#kin loud?

I also sometimes wonder about the rusty "help" buttons near the whirlpool. Has anyone ever punched them? If I saw a dead guy in the steam room I think my screaming would be more effective than that button at drawing attention to the fact that there's a dead guy in the steam room. Does someone in that situation calmly think "Dead guy. I should press that help button"?

Toilet #2 in the ladies has a faulty handle. Time to get an automatic flush, Y Board, with a little button just in case. I hate using a used toilet.

So I'm finishing my run on the dreadmill on Saturday - ramped up to 6.4 and welcoming the end (NOT my demise, just finishing up my run). So I hit the PAUSE button and nothing happens. Hit it again. NOTHING. I'm slowed down and it keeps going. It's like a scene out of the Jetsons and I hit it again and it finally stops. Stupid buttons. Where are those new treadmills they are advertising on signs around the Fitness Center like a bad excuse for the fact that the new ones haven't yet arrived?

I'm still in my rental car - a Fiat 500 - very small and cute. It's a regular one little woman car, no doubt about it. It has a "sport" button on the console that the dude at Enterprise expertly pointed out to me in case I needed a little extra power. I think I'd like to have one of those buttons on my body somewhere.

Stefanaki has been pushing my buttons lately. I asked if his large bottle of Diet Pepsi was his key to a long life, and he responded by telling me that his secret is a "good attitude" and asked if I'd like some. Nice. This is part of a string of comments out of this guy lately that always seem to have a cut to them somewhere. I NEVER seem to have a good comeback. Next time he shares a lane with me maybe I'll keep quiet and just have a pee.