Useful Hand Gestures

Since we all seem to have earplugs in when we're swimmin', or have the music blaring from our I-devices in the Fitness Center and can't figure out how to turn it off, or we've got something to say that we shouldn't say out loud, many of us resort to hand gestures. Here is an assortment, with explanations of their meaning, that I think you will find very useful.

There's the thumbs up, which means "right on, toots" or something like that. VERY useful when you're in a good mood. The thumbs down is often associated with negative sentiments, such as "the Y sucks", which it sometimes does, that's Y I'm there every day. Every time I see that the Women's Locker Room is "CLOSED FOR MAINTENANCE" I use the handy thumbs down. I'm always curious when they reopen what exactly it was that was "maintained" but apparently it is not yet the rusty lockers, half of which don't open and close right, but I'm hopeful.

OK: This is a very easy gesture made by simply connecting the thumb and forefinger in a circle and holding the other fingers out straight. Or it can mean Asshole if you're from South America (which is America only South) so use this cautiously knowing we must all be culturally respectful. However, only you need to know what it is you're trying to say.

If someone holds their hand out to you with the index and middle finger upright and parted with the rest of the fingers folded up, palm facing outward, what does it mean??? CORRECT: Once upon a time, far far away it meant VICTORY. It was VERY cool. In the 1960s it meant PEACE. It was even cooler.

Turn the clock ahead 50 years. It's 5:30 a.m. sometime in October 2011 and you're at the Y. What does the gesture mean today when Guitar Man greets you at the mats???

YES! It means "WELCOME TO THE Y!" So the next time someone makes this gesture at you say "WELCOME" back at them. Smile big. Hugs optional. It can also mean "THROW YOUR ARMS IN THE AIR!" So the next time someone makes this gesture at you THROW YOUR ARMS IN THE AIR AND CHEER. A good yell is a great release and part of a balanced breakfast. It will also serve the freak them out for at least a month or two so you can get on with your workout and have one less person to annoy you.

There are others that I hope you will also find very useful (you can print this blog for future reference):

Blah blah blah: The fingers are kept straight and together snapped against the thumb repeatedly to imitate a mouth that just wont' shut up. If you get caught making this gesture behind J.O.J.'s back quickly curl up the index finger and make shadow puppets of a puppy on the back wall.

Loser: This hand gesture is made by extending the thumb and forefinger to resemble the letter L, but if you use your left hand instead of your right because you are lifting weights with your right it could be misinterpreted as "One moment please", so your fellow member may wait for you to finish your set instead of going away quietly.

The finger: I don't need to explain this one to you. If you raise both middle fingers at someone it's THE NUMBER ELEVEN. That's more than giving someone a TEN. Good luck with that one. Try not to get caught.

One day soon we'll discuss the meaning of air kisses.