Mine Mine Mine

By 5:15 a.m. a female someone has stacked up all her gear - towel, ditty bag, coat, clothes, etc. - in Shower Stall #4. I used it anyway when I showered before my swim on Friday. I did my best to splash her stuff.

This Unknown Female has claimed that stall - Mine Mine Mine - but I like that shower, even though there are clearly four others I can use. So it's the principle of the thing, and surely you know I have plenty of principles. What to do??? Do I move her stuff? Leave a sign "Buy a lock"? Use her towel? Swipe her car keys? Report this clear lack of consideration to other members? The S.L.B. possibilities are endless.

I was half a lap off from moving into the next lane, Lane #8, on Friday, but Evil Lifeguard was looking out for her man D.G. and got him in there before I even had a chance. Because, as we all know, this is his lane. It seems that he feels he's more entitled than everyone else to that lane, which is usually a lane all to oneself (no one likes to swim the wall). So I continued to have to share mine, which was okay because he was cute. Anyway, when another lane opened up and he pointed it out to me I said back "I was going to take your lane but you were too fast for me", then I turned my attention back to doing laps. Clearly he was taken off guard by this almost direct way of telling him off because he left soon after. I got his lane. Mine Mine Mine.

Curry the Nitwit must have had sex or something before coming to the gym this morning because he was running late. He's always the first one in the pool on Saturday and Sunday and he always swims in Lane #3, "his" lane. However, coming in at 6:45 it was already occupied by Sharin'. Now, there were other lanes he could swim in, but noooooooooo, had to have his lane. Mine Mine Mine. But she said something to him and he moved over and got in with Lover Boy instead! She has amazing powers. I am in awe. Maybe because she's pretty she gets away with it. When I tell people off they just throw it back in my face. Perhaps I need to practice.

So tomorrow morning I will get there right at 5:00, put Yellow Bag, my little towel, and the water bottle on one of the spin bikes (if I'm lucky, my bike, Number #2) before I load my locker and come back in 3.5 minutes to do my thing. If anyone zaps me for not being present and tries to move my stuff and take my bike over I hope it's someone that I love, like Cookie instead of Boob Job, who, I understand, will push your stuff over with her foot if she wants to take over your mat. If that happens I will just smile my prettiest messy hair, no makeup, bed wrinkled smile and, uh, I don't know, probably say something stupid.

Do you remember the seagulls in "Finding Nemo"??? The next time I get bumped I think maybe I'm  going to start the chant: "Mine. Mine Mine. Mine Mine Mine." Instead of getting pissed off. Should be fun!

xxx