Eating Bugs

If there is anything that may, just may, make me keep my big mouth shut, it's the risk of eating bugs.

Not the deep fried crunchy grasshoppers that they feature on Bizarre Foods. Those, I'm sure, are just delicious. No, I mean the small, sticky little clouds of black gnats that swarm in summer just as the sun is rising.

On Tuesday I did the loop from the Y. It smelled beautiful. SugaCube agreed. It was barely dawn, there was a soft breeze, and I was Rambo as I took off into the soft morning light. Little black bugs were also out for their morning workout, many of them not so serious about it so they hitched a ride on me, and in me, instead.

I returned, hot, happy and covered with about 100 gnats. I felt great. I looked like shit. I quickly retreated into the locker room to clean up and cool down before my workout.

OK just for a bit of diversion, when I got back to the Y that morning J.B.F. was just arriving at the desk. Little Sweetums said to her "You look like you just got out of bed," to which J.B.F. said "That'll happen". Her hair was PERFECTLY mussed up and all over the place. I'm betting she'd spent well over an hour doing it up so she would look impeccably dishevelled. Oh pal-eeeeeeeeeeeze! Why the hell didn't she just go out for a run??? Works for me.

Back to my point about the bugs. What flippped me out when I got upstairs were all the folks running on the treadmills. It was 50 degrees and sunny outside! I said as much to The Brown Bear. Apparently I had not learned my lesson about the bugs. Of course I didn't KNOW he had just finished a run on the treadmill (though I pretended I did - why do I do that?). I'm an idiot. I felt like I had just sucked in another gnat.

So I will try to learn from the bugs. Next time I'm about to splurt out an opinion, which is often (in case you didn't notice), I will think about how disgusting it is to eat bugs, and I will attempt to put a lid on it for at least 10 seconds, which is about when the next stupid comment comes to mind.

It's another day at the Y and it gets pretty boring after a while. If you think I'm working out, focused and all that shit, please note what I'm REALLY doing is watching everyone around me and having fun in my head at their expense.

The best part is sharing it with you guys.