Saturday, March 13, 2010

Dear John

If I'm not at the gym at my usual insane hour of the morning staff and other regulars will notice. "You're late today." It's 5:30 a.m. Pretty weird.

I'm in a bad mood and if anyone asks me "So how are you" and I actually tell them I know they'll quickly tune me out. Most folks don't REALLY wants to know if you are anything but FINE. So I shut up, which for me is not easy.

One day when I came in the lady at the front desk, Cookie, said, "Goooooooooood Morning" in this high, sweet sing song of a voice. I turned and looked at her dead in the eye and said really loud "AW JESUS CHRIST". We were laughing so hard we had it tough making kissie noises at each other as I escaped down the hall to the locker room.

Sometimes beating yourself up in a workout is the best part of the day. You don't want to talk to anyone. The ipod is on really loud, you avoid eye contact, and try to lose yourself in the workout. You're itching for a fight, but then all these really nice people will spark a conversation and try to make you laugh. God bless them. A couple of hours later, 15 minutes in the hot tub, and I'm almost nice.

There's a new book group at the gym that I've gotten in on that just read Nicholas Sparks' "Dear John". Here's my take: If you meet a boy with a buzz cut, scary tatoos, a bad temper, and no clue what to do with his life you should probably steer clear. I want to rename this stupid book "Dear John: Eat My Dust." He wasn't worth it. Were that I were so wise 25 years ago.

Wonder Woman met a guy that shared swimming workouts with her for a short while, then walked out on her. If he ever shows his face at the Y again me and the Cheater are going to beat him up. It would be nice to take out our mutual frustrations about men out on something besides a treadmill.

Thank you, everyone, for being so nice even when I'm crabby. Thank you, Cookie, for being so perceptive and noticing that just being 15 minutes late to the gym is a sign that all is not well. Thank you T.B.B. (Tall, Blonde and Beautiful) for caring enough to ask me how things are. Thank you EVERYONE for putting up with me. And Wonder Woman, I mean it, that guy has definitely been voted off the island.

6 comments:

  1. Who is wonder woman - I should know if I have to beat her up. The cheater.

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  2. She's the one with super human powers, tights and a cape.

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  3. Sorry, someone who I work with who doesn't have a pool name told me I got this wrong. I have to beat up the guy. I don't know what happened, I used to do very well in reading comprehension. I guess that goes too in old age. The (old) Cheater.

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  4. I like that. Spinney is now her official pool name. The Cheater

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