I apparently lost my good round hairbrush at the Y last week so the day I noticed I asked at the front desk if they could check the Lost & Found for it. A look of shock crossed the receptionist's face as she informed me that they throw hairbrushes away because to put them into the bin with the rest of the stuff would be unhealthy. I almost mentioned the theory of Ziploc bags.
I've seen the unclaimed stuff they try to sell at $1.00/pop. I get itchy just looking at it. Is this place so desperate for cash that they can't just drop all that crap in a Goodwill box?
I hate when I lose stuff. I'm a LIBRARIAN for chrissakes - I am wild with organization! Twice in the same week I left my makeup kit in the locker room and both times I got it back. That was lucky, and so is everyone else, because you need to look at me. Puppy Sweet Cheeks once commented on how orderly my gym bag was, smartly chalking it all up to my professional interests. Little did she know that there's no way I'd get all that shit into the bag if I didn't arrange it just so.
I've picked up all kinds of things over the years and returned them to the desk and I've never kept anything for myself: a gold watch, a pair of pretty leather gloves, a diamond encrusted wedding band (that was left on the treadmill just last week - what dumb chick did that, I wonder?), hairdryers, sneakers, sandals, CD players, Spinney's swim gear (since it was wet, I can only assume it did NOT go in the bin, which, as we all now know, would be unhealthy). So if you have my grey winter ball cap that I lost two years ago I'd like to have that back. Thanks.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Eating Well
Once upon a time in a land far far away, during my first semester as an undergad, I ate bagels and cream cheese and coffee for breakfast. It was good. I gained 20 pounds in 4 months. I got seriously chubbo.
The breakfast of champions: 3 ibuprofen and a cup of decaf before I take off for the gym for my workout. There are mornings when, by the end of my routine, instead of focusing on the execise, all I'm thinking about is FOOD. I eat at my desk the second I arrive at work. I always bag my breakfast because I'm in a hurry (always, because I'm starved by this time) and it keeps me from eating crap (like bagels every day).
Most folks are watching their weight, at least to keep it from going up. I gained 5 pounds on vacation last month - it was good. I ate well, and then some. Why does my butt expand and not my bust???
There is a direct connection between good nutrution and good health, and I try to eat right, but no one could ever make give up my bagels. Sharin' caught me having a bagel on Friday morning. She ordered 6 before a trip to NY this weekend so I asked if she was OK to make sure she wasn't going home to eat all of them after a good cry. She assured me all was good. So good, in fact, that she got engaged this weekend! The magic of bagels. Sigh.
We have choices: high fiber, low fat, low carb, unsweetened, non GMO, kosher, vegan, vegetarian, low cal, natural, organic, local, high protein, high in Omega 3 fatty acids, etc. But I admit, every couple of weeks, I just NEED a bagel, with a "schmear". I guess I'll try to start losing those vacation pounds next week.
The breakfast of champions: 3 ibuprofen and a cup of decaf before I take off for the gym for my workout. There are mornings when, by the end of my routine, instead of focusing on the execise, all I'm thinking about is FOOD. I eat at my desk the second I arrive at work. I always bag my breakfast because I'm in a hurry (always, because I'm starved by this time) and it keeps me from eating crap (like bagels every day).
Most folks are watching their weight, at least to keep it from going up. I gained 5 pounds on vacation last month - it was good. I ate well, and then some. Why does my butt expand and not my bust???
There is a direct connection between good nutrution and good health, and I try to eat right, but no one could ever make give up my bagels. Sharin' caught me having a bagel on Friday morning. She ordered 6 before a trip to NY this weekend so I asked if she was OK to make sure she wasn't going home to eat all of them after a good cry. She assured me all was good. So good, in fact, that she got engaged this weekend! The magic of bagels. Sigh.
We have choices: high fiber, low fat, low carb, unsweetened, non GMO, kosher, vegan, vegetarian, low cal, natural, organic, local, high protein, high in Omega 3 fatty acids, etc. But I admit, every couple of weeks, I just NEED a bagel, with a "schmear". I guess I'll try to start losing those vacation pounds next week.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Countdown
One of the things I've learned by taking classes was the importance of The Countdown. Counting 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. On the left side, 5 ,4 3, 2, 1. Sets. Breathe. Recover. At the end I half expect my butt to eject but so far I've only experienced the occasional polite fart.
For example, we count laps, up and back, in the pool. Today I did 4000 yards, which translates to 80 laps, or "What are you, a crazy woman"? I'm sure the lifeguards find me mildly interesting, more so perhaps than the condition of their nails, half hoping to do a rescue, knowing I'm pushing 50. Being a lifeguard is probably almost as interesting as being a shrub. If a fellow pool dweller tells me "they lost count" in terms or how many laps they've done I always tell them they have to start all over again. I've had a few weird looks. Go figure.
On the treadmill there are, I think, 6 ways from Sunday to track your workout. How fast, number of laps (.25 miles/each), Kcal (translation: killer calories), distance, etc. Then, when you finish your run the stupid thing tells you how far you went, your average speed, and when you will die from a heart attack if you don't slow down. I suppose this is added value for having a Y membership. "GREAT WORKOUT" speeds across the display. I'm bright red and half dead. What crap.
Some days I get to the gym and I'm not feeling all that shit hot - kind of crabby, tired, and stiff. If I am in Spinner mode I set my Resistance at an "8". I don't really want to socialize and again I thank gawd for earplugs and earbugs. In midwinter when most of the exercise I get is indoors, alternating between swimming and machines get pretty sterile. Life is stressful, I work too hard, the problem with the world is everybody else and I gained 2 pounds over the holidays. Not fun.
But the weather is improving. It's May in upstate NY - some of the best weather we can have. It's a wonder to run outside and go as fast, or as slow, or as far as I want. I get on my bike and ride and am absolutely joyful at flying down hills and going really fast. What a release not to count, or countdown, or keep track, or record any part of what is going on with my bod. There I am thinking "Resistance is at a 0". I am free.
For example, we count laps, up and back, in the pool. Today I did 4000 yards, which translates to 80 laps, or "What are you, a crazy woman"? I'm sure the lifeguards find me mildly interesting, more so perhaps than the condition of their nails, half hoping to do a rescue, knowing I'm pushing 50. Being a lifeguard is probably almost as interesting as being a shrub. If a fellow pool dweller tells me "they lost count" in terms or how many laps they've done I always tell them they have to start all over again. I've had a few weird looks. Go figure.
On the treadmill there are, I think, 6 ways from Sunday to track your workout. How fast, number of laps (.25 miles/each), Kcal (translation: killer calories), distance, etc. Then, when you finish your run the stupid thing tells you how far you went, your average speed, and when you will die from a heart attack if you don't slow down. I suppose this is added value for having a Y membership. "GREAT WORKOUT" speeds across the display. I'm bright red and half dead. What crap.
Some days I get to the gym and I'm not feeling all that shit hot - kind of crabby, tired, and stiff. If I am in Spinner mode I set my Resistance at an "8". I don't really want to socialize and again I thank gawd for earplugs and earbugs. In midwinter when most of the exercise I get is indoors, alternating between swimming and machines get pretty sterile. Life is stressful, I work too hard, the problem with the world is everybody else and I gained 2 pounds over the holidays. Not fun.
But the weather is improving. It's May in upstate NY - some of the best weather we can have. It's a wonder to run outside and go as fast, or as slow, or as far as I want. I get on my bike and ride and am absolutely joyful at flying down hills and going really fast. What a release not to count, or countdown, or keep track, or record any part of what is going on with my bod. There I am thinking "Resistance is at a 0". I am free.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Prima Donna
The reading group at the Y just finished "Three Cups of Tea", starring the sweetest, most humble,altruistic person in the universe. I'd eat him alive.
I can't stand a prima donna. Women that think they are something hot and powerful and that everyone else is an idiot. Boob Job complained to our area director that a man was ogling her. Why would he? She's often upleasant, and let's face it, girls, mine may not be much but at least they aren't fake. And the man she reported on is good and kind, like Mortenson in our book. She also left a nasty note on Peanut's car a few months ago complaining she was parking too close. It's 5:00 a.m.! There are a million empty spaces and WE WERE HERE FIRST. She eventually changed spots. Puppy Sweet Cheeks and I are going to plot revenge if this continues. Please let us know if you'd like to join in the fun.
Braggers also drive me nuts. No matter how lovely, smart, rich, or well connected you are there is always someone that is more so, and I don't mean yours truly. I listen to them go on about all their advantages and I want to say they have me confused with someone who actually gives a shit, but having choices I try to keep my trap shut. I remember when people are really nice, but I also remember them when they're mean or obnoxious. Too bad one cannot wear earbuds at social functions. I'll bet Mortenson doesn't feel the need to brag.
So we are sort of a Payton Place but I think most of the folks that come to my gym are pretty wonderful. Over the long term a Gym Junkie just has get along as best as possible, even with the weirdos, the people you don't like, as well as those you might look down upon. You don't want to be labelled and shunned. As we did with Mr. Pink and Won't Shut Up. We haven't seen them in a while. Be warned.
I can't stand a prima donna. Women that think they are something hot and powerful and that everyone else is an idiot. Boob Job complained to our area director that a man was ogling her. Why would he? She's often upleasant, and let's face it, girls, mine may not be much but at least they aren't fake. And the man she reported on is good and kind, like Mortenson in our book. She also left a nasty note on Peanut's car a few months ago complaining she was parking too close. It's 5:00 a.m.! There are a million empty spaces and WE WERE HERE FIRST. She eventually changed spots. Puppy Sweet Cheeks and I are going to plot revenge if this continues. Please let us know if you'd like to join in the fun.
Braggers also drive me nuts. No matter how lovely, smart, rich, or well connected you are there is always someone that is more so, and I don't mean yours truly. I listen to them go on about all their advantages and I want to say they have me confused with someone who actually gives a shit, but having choices I try to keep my trap shut. I remember when people are really nice, but I also remember them when they're mean or obnoxious. Too bad one cannot wear earbuds at social functions. I'll bet Mortenson doesn't feel the need to brag.
So we are sort of a Payton Place but I think most of the folks that come to my gym are pretty wonderful. Over the long term a Gym Junkie just has get along as best as possible, even with the weirdos, the people you don't like, as well as those you might look down upon. You don't want to be labelled and shunned. As we did with Mr. Pink and Won't Shut Up. We haven't seen them in a while. Be warned.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
The New Suit
Little Bug loved my new tank suit and asked if it was OK is she bought the same. I thought the garish colors were what I get for buying online.
I had the privilege of enjoying a visit to the beach last week near Destin, Florida. I wore my first 2-piece since high school and except for the broken blood vessels, sagging boobs and grey hair it looked pretty good.
I also bought a new tankini. Actually, I only ordered a top, apparently, so I had to find a bottom that matched, which, speaking of garish colors, Lands End was happy to provide. It fit fine until it got wet then it sagged off my butt like a pantload. Good thing I was drunk when we went to get in the hotel hot tub and that no one knew me. Is sitting in a hot tub during a thunderstorm stupid??? Definitely yes, but it was awesome.
Speaking of new suits we have a very large (think tall, broad) woman at the Y now that is less than modest, walking around in her wrinkled altogether and it's so out there we turn away. Until I was alerted by Sharin' this week that we may have a trans gender member. We haven't yet checked her out so now I'll have to look and see if all her parts are acceptable for the women's locker room. Talk about having a "new suit". My gym is so white and straight it's easy to find the marginalized, and also fun to have someone new to whisper about. Her pool name, FYI, is Butch.
There's nothing like a new suit. It can make you excited to go to the pool, it can make you feel younger (even if you don't look it), and it can even transform you into the opposite. Two of us in the same suit? - now that's a team. I hope Butch doesn't order from SwimOutlet.com.
I had the privilege of enjoying a visit to the beach last week near Destin, Florida. I wore my first 2-piece since high school and except for the broken blood vessels, sagging boobs and grey hair it looked pretty good.
I also bought a new tankini. Actually, I only ordered a top, apparently, so I had to find a bottom that matched, which, speaking of garish colors, Lands End was happy to provide. It fit fine until it got wet then it sagged off my butt like a pantload. Good thing I was drunk when we went to get in the hotel hot tub and that no one knew me. Is sitting in a hot tub during a thunderstorm stupid??? Definitely yes, but it was awesome.
Speaking of new suits we have a very large (think tall, broad) woman at the Y now that is less than modest, walking around in her wrinkled altogether and it's so out there we turn away. Until I was alerted by Sharin' this week that we may have a trans gender member. We haven't yet checked her out so now I'll have to look and see if all her parts are acceptable for the women's locker room. Talk about having a "new suit". My gym is so white and straight it's easy to find the marginalized, and also fun to have someone new to whisper about. Her pool name, FYI, is Butch.
There's nothing like a new suit. It can make you excited to go to the pool, it can make you feel younger (even if you don't look it), and it can even transform you into the opposite. Two of us in the same suit? - now that's a team. I hope Butch doesn't order from SwimOutlet.com.
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